Soft Heart, Curious Mind

Almost three years ago, I began praying a simple prayer that ended up changing the trajectory of my life. I was training for a half-marathon, and each morning I had the same routine: wake up, spend time in God’s Word, and head out the door by 5 AM, in the dark to run. 

I ran in the quiet of the morning, no headphones, no music, just me and the Lord. I used that time to pray and reflect on what I had read that morning. And as the summer went on and my relationship with Jesus grew, my prayers shifted a bit.

Now, before I opened my Bible each morning, I would say a simple prayer: Lord, give me a soft heart and curious mind as I seek you and read your Word. 

That prayer bled into my reading, and then into my running/prayer time. I found myself curious and seeing things in the Scripture that I had previously overlooked or had read with preconceived ideas. It became apparent to me that perhaps many of my beliefs had been shaped by culture or church tradition, rather than by the Word of God itself.

Because of this, suddenly during my run, I was adding another prayer that shifted my perspective once more: Lord, shatter my own understanding of your world and your Word, and rebuild it in a way that is glorifying to you. 

The Lord was faithful and has continued to be faithful in answering those prayers, as I continue to pray them regularly. But the answers have not always been easy. When we can quiet our hearts, look past the things of this world, and listen for the Holy Spirit to guide us, our understanding does shift. And with that, I have had to sit with some uncomfortable truths and decide if I believe what God’s Word says, or if I would rather stay in the comfort of what I believe to be true based on my own understanding. 

 There is often wrestling with the Lord that goes into this process, questions, and quiet moments reflecting on Scripture, seeking and praying to understand the world through a new lens, one based on what God says to be true. And while this new kind of understanding can be uncomfortable, it also brings a great deal of peace and a deeper relationship with the Lord. It is worth it to dig deep, to pray hard prayers, and seek God with all our hearts. Going forward, I hope to use this blog to share some of the things the Lord has taught me in this season and hear what the Lord is teaching you as well. 

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33.3